Expert Relationship Advice On Cheating
Reader’s Question:
I’m new here and desperately need your relationship expert advice. I’ve been married for three months now, and although I’d say I’m perfectly happy, there’s just one thing that’s getting to me about my husband. Whenever we go out, I notice that he likes looking at other women, especially those who wear low-cut tops and sexy outfits. He barely looks at me when we’re eating, and I always catch him eyeing a gorgeous blonde. Should I be worried, and could this be the first sign of cheating?
Relationship Advice:
I completely understand why you would have issues on this and come to me for marriage advice. It seems to me like your husband may have insecurities that he projects on other people, waiting to see if other women still find him attractive. Although looking per se isn’t cheating (and won’t necessarily lead to that), the fact that it makes you feel inadequate makes it a real issue.
Again, like the typical relationship expert advice I give others, communication is key. If you are feeling disrespected by your husband’s behavior, then by all means tell him you are feeling this way. If he says that he is merely appreciating the beauty around him, communicate to him that it doesn’t feel right with you. If your husband is truly committed to you, then he will make an effort to change. However, if he thinks that you are being unreasonable, then maybe it’s time to try to reach a compromise. You can ask him to not ogle at other women when he’s with you. If he still doesn’t agree with your solution, you can try couples’ counseling.
Think of it this way, as well: if all other aspects of our relationship are fine, then maybe you’ll let this one slide. You also have to work out your self-image issues. If you feel confident that your husband is merely looking and really has his eyes only for you, then a little visual wandering shouldn’t be a problem.
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