Expert Relationship Advice On Desire
Reader’s Question:
Help! I need your relationship expert advice on this one. I’ve been going out with a guy for six months, and in the first few weeks of our relationship, we’ve been having sex twice or thrice a week. Now it’s down to once every other week, and I feel like he’s slowly losing interest. I’m not used to him rejecting my advances, and I’ve tried different ways of seducing him (cute lingerie, initiating contact such as stroking, etc.), and yet these ways are still not working. What am I doing wrong? And please tell me, how do I fix this?
Relationship Advice:
Many couples have come to me for dating advice, particularly on sexual incompatibility and the lack of sex drive. You are not alone in wondering why, after weeks of sexual bliss, your boyfriend doesn’t want to get intimate anymore. It could be different reasons, really, but the best way to find out is to communicate your feelings with him. Tell your boyfriend that you have needs as well and that it is frustrating you. Sex and money are two of the biggest issues when it comes to relationships, and if one department is not working, then the whole office (so to speak), will be affected. Go ahead and open this up with him and see how he reacts.
If you are afraid of speaking out, then consider these reasons (you may also ask him if any of these apply to him):
- Your partner could be depressed or undergoing an emotional crisis. It is best to talk this out with him. As you know, if one isn’t functioning well emotionally, then it would be hard to be physically intimate, as well. Find out what issues are bothering him.
- It could be a physical problem, as well. If your boyfriend used to be able to get it up frequently, and now whatever you do, it’s just not going that way, then maybe he should see a doctor.
- Is he taking drugs or drinking excessively? This could contribute to the lack of sex drive.
- One painful truth could be that he’s tired of you. If this is the case, the two of you should talk and find an amenable solution, one that can spice things up again. Maybe you’re always together? A little distance never hurt anyone.
These are just a number of things that can contribute to the lack of sex drive. Again, you are the best person to give yourself relationship expert advice. By talking to your boyfriend and communicating your frustrations, you have taken the first step in fixing your problems.
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